My thoughts on time,reality, and nostalgia

Why do good times end? That’s where we always end up, after thinking and thinking and brainstorming. Every single time it starts with the same thought and it ends with the same question, but the truth is, there’s no answer to that. You can’t really say why something ends or why something exists at the first place. The only difference between then and now is just time. Do things really change? Maybe they do. Maybe everything changes actually, because time can never be the same. It passes and passes and things change without realizing it. Even if you don’t want something to change there’s  nothing you can really do about it. You’re not the same person you were a second ago. It’s another time, another part of reality. As well as you’re not the same person you’re gonna be in one second. One. By reading this you now know more than you knew a second before, which makes you different. Well, that’s how life goes. When you experience something, even if you go back to the same place,with the same people, do the same stuff, it wont be the same thing, because you’ll be a different person, knowing more things than you did before. Knowledge is power. I finally understand this phrase. This is actually what existence is if you think about it. Knowing that you exist is existing. If you didn’t know you existed you wouldn’t really exist. Cause what is existence? Where do we exist? Some might say on earth, which is a planet in space. Okay. Then where does space exist? It’s all a matter of perspective, you see. By knowing that I exist and that others recognize my existence I can safely say this is a reality and not a fantasy. So, is it that we experience different realities everyday, and then we decide on which ones to stick ?

  Now, there is a problem with good experiences: you either cry because it’s over or smile because it happened. I’m usually in a kind of combination of those two, for I get really attached to moments. I’m extremely happy that I get to be so happy and so full of life on numerous occasions, but at the same time I’m sad that I only get to experience a particular type of happiness only once. But is happiness even a choice? Do we want to be happy? Of course we do, but something tells us we're too stubborn to accept our happiness without being where we want to be. We keep punishing ourselves for some reason, as if it is our fault that time passes and we're not the same person as then. We keep thinking and thinking and trying to remember even more things just to feel closer to that reality. But that reality has passed. It does not exist anymore, which basically makes it a fantasy. The past doesn’t exist somewhere, it is not something real. Pictures are just representations of those realities, just ways of keeping a fantasy with us. The only thing “real” is RIGHT NOW. Imagine how many “nows” have passed. Countless. Then I think about how many nows I’ve spent thinking over fantasies. Usually there are times where I have lived more in a couple weeks than in countless months. So I guess the goal of life is not to live many years, right? Because this is proof for myself that quantity really doesn’t mean ANYTHING. So it’s not really time that exists, but moments. Time is relative, everything happens simultaneously. But moments, they are knowledge, which keeps our existence going. It’s all a matter of perspective. Distinguishing realities and fantasies. Adding value to a moment according to the knowledge it provided you for realizing your existence.